Yesterday & today, our church had organised a women’s conference. The very first one we had. The theme of the conference was CHOSEN… a great starting point of who we are & that we are chosen by God.
I was invited to be part of a panel to share a God experience in my life & how it changed my view of God & who He was for me..
I started out by saying that I always thought that my life story was a boring one.. & indeed, for the last almost 16 years of my adult life, I did think so. I remember being at conferences & events, listening to amazing people share their impacting life changing story about how they broke drug addiction or alcoholism or came out from painful abuse.. I didn’t have any of those… & I am thankful to God that I didn’t.. but it did cause me to always think that I had nothing to share…
I have preached many messages, in university ministry, in youth ministry & in kids ministry & yes, there were parts of my life which I had used as examples.. but I would always assumed that that was it. I can share or preach a message but I don’t have the wow factor..
As I prepared for today, it was a bit of a battle of the mind as up until the last minute, I battled as to whether my story was worthy of being shared.. but it brought me back to the very verse in the book of Esther in the bible, you were called & chosen for such a time as this! The very verse that caused me to stop battling God so many years ago…
I was quite an independent kid. From a young age, having lost my mum at 7 & having a dad who travelled for work, I would spend a lot of time at homes of different relatives & family members as well as on my own. I was comfortable being on my own but with the knowledge that I had someone who I could rely on within a phone call away, whether it was my stepmom, my grandparents, my aunt or anyone else.
I had no intention of coming to Australia for my studies but when I finished my A-Levels which I had done in 9 months instead of 18 (another story), I had to wait 9 months for intakes in UK (which would make sense if I had done the 18 month course!!) so I applied to some Australian universities in the meantime to keep my options open. Being a city kid, I applied for universities located in cities but on the day I went in to submit my applications, the dean of the one law school & university which I didn’t apply for happened to have a cancellations in his schedule which meant that he was sitting & waiting for his next appointment which was 20 minutes later. I remember the lady who was receiving applications asked me to take the opportunity to have a chat with him & my answer was that I didn’t apply for that university nor was I considering it. She said that maybe I could glimpse some information about Australia as a country, the lifestyle as well as university environment that could help with my other applications. Somehow, I begrudgingly walked in the room in the end, sat down & had a conversation with this guy (politely & nicely) & within 5 minutes & a phone call later, he handed me an offer letter containing an offer to the university & a scholarship! So before I knew it, I was packing my bags & preparing to leave for Australia (which is like the opposite end of the globe from UK) & going to a university that I didn’t choose! I remember looking out of my dorm room window at the view of the forest thinking that I have gone from a concrete jungle to an actual jungle!
I had also thought that moving away on my own meant no longer having to go to church & I didn’t even pack a bible to bring with me.. but God had other plans… The first few people I met at university were christians!! Together, we went to a few churches & decided on one where I still am today… but I was still battling.. I was battling that I was at a place that I didn’t really want to be..
A couple of weeks in, we had gone on a camp & one night, I couldn’t sleep so I thought I would stay awake as we were going for a hike to see the sunrise shortly anyway. So I went out to sit in the verandah, in the quiet of the night under the stars, I had a heart to heart with God & battled it out as to why I was there & heard His answer drop into my heart “I have chosen you to be here for such a time”… Ok, an answer.. being a lawyer in training, I probed more… “so, fine, so I am here, now what? What for?”… Esther had a purpose in that time, what was mine? Plus, spontaneity is not my greatest trade… the next answer was “Trust in Me & I will make your paths straight”. Ok, God wins!
From that moment on, I learnt who God was for me & grew my relationship with Him. I knew Him in the past but as a child, it was more through the perceptions of who He was to my family, to Sunday school teachers who taught us, to school chaplains, etc. I knew God, I had a relationship with Him.. but it was like knowing a family friend always with the companionship of a parent. God had to take me here, away from it all to get my attention & grow that relationship for myself! That would for me be the very beginning of my God experience which others were built upon.
I remembered the excitement of being at a Planetshakers conference a few months later, letting God recapture my heart & finding out more of that purpose. Looking back at where I have come from, the last 16 years, my story may be a “boring” one but I thank God that it was the foundation which allowed me to be an impact & a difference in so many people’s lives. I trusted Him & allowed Him to use me. I leaned on His understanding when challenges came my way so that I had a testimony. Instead of running away from Him, He took me from my ideal vision for my life to His!
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