Drip

Drip, drip, drip….

It has been raining pretty much non stop for the last 48 hours or so & there is a leak in my office where my window connection is. As there is more rain to come & it can’t be fixed until the rain stops, all we can do it to place a towel & bucket. But in the last day & half, it has taught me how a drip can affect my life!

A drip is not much. It is after all only just a single drip. But the noise that single drop makes, it can be heard. It grabs your attention & focus. It causes you to notice it.

A drop of water will still cause something to be wet – bucket, towel, carpet, even you. It has the power to change something.

Consistency of drips will actually cause a bigger impact, a bucket to fill up, a towel or carpet to drench.

This actually got me thinking… sometimes, there are things in life, decisions made, words said that may not be huge or for its impact to be immediate but like a constant drip, it is significant. It still changes, it has it’s value & purpose & its effect. Consistently going, its significance grows.

So if what you are doing may seem like a drop at the moment, don’t give up, don’t give in.. it already made a change.. to make a bigger change, make the drop into a consistent drip! A drip that eventually cannot be ignored!

Woman; be who you are designed to be!

Today is International Women Day & I have this message within me that I had thought of not sharing but it is fighting to come out as words that needs to be heard.

As I scrolled through social media & the news & so many other things today, there are women fighting for equality, women fighting for a status, articles & awards celebrating the achievements of women, people celebrating their wives, mothers, daughters & girlfriends lifting each other up in support & messages that it is ok to be imperfect.

The niggling question that keeps bugging me as I read through this today is “who or what are we comparing ourselves with?”; as women, do we realised that we are created to be different from men?

Yes, some of society has deemed us to be the weaker gender but within our “weakness” is our strength. Yes, we should be recognised but there is so much that a woman endures & sacrifices that is not known nor can be comprehended. When we live by our design, we have the confidence to go forward & function as we are meant to.

As a woman, I find myself discovering new abilities of who I am & what I can do each day & in that discovery, my identity & my confidence grows.

Maybe instead of fighting for women” rights or competing with each other of who is better, let us be recognised for who we were designed to be…

• The wife who will out of our love for our husband be committed to partner & journey through ever aspect of life with him
• The daughter who will always look up to her parents & wish to please them with everything that she does
• The mother who will always carry & expand & stretch & endure however much required, physically, emotionally & mentally for her children
• The sister who will always stand up for those who she fights alongside
• A boss and/or leader who will always nuture & champion those following them
• A friend who will always cheer on, lift, support & encourage

Let us strive to discover our identity of who God has created us to be & be the best woman we can for ourselves & for those around us.

Stepping stone vs launching pad – time

Time keeps moving but it is what we do with it that counts.

When I was looking forward to my end of year break, I had every intention to work through most of it & get myself up to speed on my work, however, when I actually took that break, it was a bit different.

As I mentioned previously, I was already pondering on the concept of being a stepping stone or a launching pad (see previous post) & heading into the holiday season & intending to work through it, I made the public holidays my stepping stones.

Then, on the first few days of my holidays, I was talking to a friend who was going through a bit of a tough time & taking a break & another revelation hit me… holidays are not just the stepping stone from one year to another – no absolutely not! They can also be a launching pad…

To use my holidays as a launching pad, I had to be intentional. Intentionally resting & recovering from the stresses of last year ‘ of now. Working of dropping the baggage for a bit & allowing some healing, physically, emotionally, mentally & spiritually. I know that the months ahead will be busy, jammed pack & filled with many things work wise & in order for me to be able to have a fresh outlook (which I will need), I needed to intentionally have a holiday. So I did…. there were some days which I had to go in to work (only 2 so far) but on the other days, I stopped. I rested. I went out. I slept. I pampered myself. I self-cared. I spent time with family & friends. At first it was hard for me to do as I felt guilty & lazy but now on the second last day of my holidays, I know that my clients don’t just want things done on time, they want a lawyer who can think, function, advise & act clearly, holistically & wisely & I needed to put myself first so that I can be the best for them in the service I provide.

I learnt this holidays how important a time of rest was. I also discovered the reason why athletes & people who exercise at the gym regularly or have particular diets have rest days, because those rest days allows the body to stop, reset, recover & push further & harder to achieve their goal.

“Wait, this is his/her battle”

Ever felt like you are left to fend for yourself in the face of evil? When circumstances are so daunting & you have drawn your sword ready for battle but you don’t know if you can or can’t do so. There is a risk of wining or losing, of walking away hurt or harmed.

I was watching the Chronicles of Narnia tonight & it was the scene where Peter was battling the wolves. Everyone else, Azlan included cake running up to aid him but Azlan said to the rest of the army “Stop, wait, this is Peter’s battle”.

I realised then that as Azlan is a portrayal of God, God too does that sometimes; not because He wants to see us hurt but He knows that our confidence & strength is renewed in His presence & also of the backing of an army who are there to lift & battle when we falter.

The victory of the battle too makes us stronger, builds our confidence & allows us to discover our identity – just as when Peter succeeded, he was knighted & his name was changed. His identity confirmed & concreted to be a foundation upon which his next battle can be built upon.

Chosen

Yesterday & today, our church had organised a women’s conference. The very first one we had. The theme of the conference was CHOSEN… a great starting point of who we are & that we are chosen by God.

I was invited to be part of a panel to share a God experience in my life & how it changed my view of God & who He was for me..

I started out by saying that I always thought that my life story was a boring one.. & indeed, for the last almost 16 years of my adult life, I did think so. I remember being at conferences & events, listening to amazing people share their impacting life changing story about how they broke drug addiction or alcoholism or came out from painful abuse.. I didn’t have any of those… & I am thankful to God that I didn’t.. but it did cause me to always think that I had nothing to share…

I have preached many messages, in university ministry, in youth ministry & in kids ministry & yes, there were parts of my life which I had used as examples.. but I would always assumed that that was it. I can share or preach a message but I don’t have the wow factor..

As I prepared for today, it was a bit of a battle of the mind as up until the last minute, I battled as to whether my story was worthy of being shared.. but it brought me back to the very verse in the book of Esther in the bible, you were called & chosen for such a time as this! The very verse that caused me to stop battling God so many years ago…

I was quite an independent kid. From a young age, having lost my mum at 7 & having a dad who travelled for work, I would spend a lot of time at homes of different relatives & family members as well as on my own. I was comfortable being on my own but with the knowledge that I had someone who I could rely on within a phone call away, whether it was my stepmom, my grandparents, my aunt or anyone else.

I had no intention of coming to Australia for my studies but when I finished my A-Levels which I had done in 9 months instead of 18 (another story), I had to wait 9 months for intakes in UK (which would make sense if I had done the 18 month course!!) so I applied to some Australian universities in the meantime to keep my options open. Being a city kid, I applied for universities located in cities but on the day I went in to submit my applications, the dean of the one law school & university which I didn’t apply for happened to have a cancellations in his schedule which meant that he was sitting & waiting for his next appointment which was 20 minutes later. I remember the lady who was receiving applications asked me to take the opportunity to have a chat with him & my answer was that I didn’t apply for that university nor was I considering it. She said that maybe I could glimpse some information about Australia as a country, the lifestyle as well as university environment that could help with my other applications. Somehow, I begrudgingly walked in the room in the end, sat down & had a conversation with this guy (politely & nicely) & within 5 minutes & a phone call later, he handed me an offer letter containing an offer to the university & a scholarship! So before I knew it, I was packing my bags & preparing to leave for Australia (which is like the opposite end of the globe from UK) & going to a university that I didn’t choose! I remember looking out of my dorm room window at the view of the forest thinking that I have gone from a concrete jungle to an actual jungle!

I had also thought that moving away on my own meant no longer having to go to church & I didn’t even pack a bible to bring with me.. but God had other plans… The first few people I met at university were christians!! Together, we went to a few churches & decided on one where I still am today… but I was still battling.. I was battling that I was at a place that I didn’t really want to be..

A couple of weeks in, we had gone on a camp & one night, I couldn’t sleep so I thought I would stay awake as we were going for a hike to see the sunrise shortly anyway. So I went out to sit in the verandah, in the quiet of the night under the stars, I had a heart to heart with God & battled it out as to why I was there & heard His answer drop into my heart “I have chosen you to be here for such a time”… Ok, an answer.. being a lawyer in training, I probed more… “so, fine, so I am here, now what? What for?”… Esther had a purpose in that time, what was mine? Plus, spontaneity is not my greatest trade… the next answer was “Trust in Me & I will make your paths straight”. Ok, God wins!

From that moment on, I learnt who God was for me & grew my relationship with Him. I knew Him in the past but as a child, it was more through the perceptions of who He was to my family, to Sunday school teachers who taught us, to school chaplains, etc. I knew God, I had a relationship with Him.. but it was like knowing a family friend always with the companionship of a parent. God had to take me here, away from it all to get my attention & grow that relationship for myself! That would for me be the very beginning of my God experience which others were built upon.

I remembered the excitement of being at a Planetshakers conference a few months later, letting God recapture my heart & finding out more of that purpose. Looking back at where I have come from, the last 16 years, my story may be a “boring” one but I thank God that it was the foundation which allowed me to be an impact & a difference in so many people’s lives. I trusted Him & allowed Him to use me. I leaned on His understanding when challenges came my way so that I had a testimony. Instead of running away from Him, He took me from my ideal vision for my life to His!