RU OK? The unspoken answer…

Today is “RU Ok? Day”. Whist I understand & agree with the intention of the day where it brings to the forefront the importance of checking in on one another, starting the conversation & also creating opportunities to support & encourage one another, I don’t think it should be an occurrence that happens once a year. In fact, I make it an active intention to ask this question to those around me & those I meet regularly.

On the flip side, this question is also easily answered most times. “Yes, I am ok”, “all good”, “going well/great/awesome” are some of the common responses who usually then brings an end to the conversation.

But let’s take a moment to stop & truly consider ourselves before responding to that question… “Are you/we REALLY ok?” in all areas & aspects of our lives? Is there anything that we are struggling with or bothering us? Are we really that happy & contented at all things?

I am not saying that we have to spill our guts out or share our inner most struggles with everyone who ask us that question… Opportunities may come up that we are prompted to share with a person who do ask that question & that is great…

What I discovered this year though is that on RU OK? Day, let us not just ask one another that question but let us also ask ourselves that question. Let us inspect all areas of our life to determine if we are indeed really ok.. let us answer for ourselves the true answer to that question.

Drip

Drip, drip, drip….

It has been raining pretty much non stop for the last 48 hours or so & there is a leak in my office where my window connection is. As there is more rain to come & it can’t be fixed until the rain stops, all we can do it to place a towel & bucket. But in the last day & half, it has taught me how a drip can affect my life!

A drip is not much. It is after all only just a single drip. But the noise that single drop makes, it can be heard. It grabs your attention & focus. It causes you to notice it.

A drop of water will still cause something to be wet – bucket, towel, carpet, even you. It has the power to change something.

Consistency of drips will actually cause a bigger impact, a bucket to fill up, a towel or carpet to drench.

This actually got me thinking… sometimes, there are things in life, decisions made, words said that may not be huge or for its impact to be immediate but like a constant drip, it is significant. It still changes, it has it’s value & purpose & its effect. Consistently going, its significance grows.

So if what you are doing may seem like a drop at the moment, don’t give up, don’t give in.. it already made a change.. to make a bigger change, make the drop into a consistent drip! A drip that eventually cannot be ignored!

Old ways, new doors

It is a new year & a new decade but are we stuck in our old ways of doing things? Old habits, old expectations, old manners, old approaches.. don’t get me wrong, there are some things of old which are of value, in fact, great value – those are the things that have stood the test of time, that worked & that are the foundation of things! There is value & worth in the priceless traditions, the basic morals of life which are timeless like politeness, kindness, generosity, love, care, respect. Those are the things of old that are set in stone that should not be departed from & should be passed & taught from one generation to another.

But then, there are still the other things, with a new generation of technology, kids & ideas, as the world change around us, should we not change too to adapt where there is a need to do so? When something isn’t working anymore because it has gone past it’s time or relevance, those are the things that need refreshing. Sometimes, it is not just the physical things but also the mindsets, being teachable, being open, looking outside the box so that things, businesses, ministries, relationships can be brought to a whole new level!

Change does not just happen because it is a new year

Just saying that it is a new year does not make things new 😅 we all wished it was that simple. I saw this post by Christine Caine & it helps put into words what had been on my mind for this new year & new decade.

There have been numerous things which we have accepted & allowed for the last year & decade which we know that change needs to occur but no action has been taken, this is the year to press stop & deal with it so that change can actually occur.

There are some things that are progressing like a bullet train towards a destination but have we paused to see what else is there around us that needs to be done or is everything going to just fly by like a blur & become missed opportunities?

Are there some things that need to be reset, rethought, refreshed, repaired, reanalysed, reassessed, reconsidered so that it functions better, that the foundations can be made stronger.. sometimes the base is set & is fine but the building that took place on top of it may have some weak points or some require some adjustment to ensure that it can support the further building on top of it, likewise, to pruning of a tree, to ensure that the growth happens in the right direction & the branch is strong enough to support it otherwise, the fruit eventually falls from the tree not due to ripeness but due to the weakness of the branch.

Lastly, the scariest one of all, is it time to press start… press start on those dreams that have been kept in the smallest & secret places, the ideas that we have pushed aside, the visions that God ha given us but we discounted not because of Him but of what we think our abilities are.. if not now, then when?

The ticking of the clock into a new hour/day/hour/week/month/year/decade does not mean that things will magically change. It is the intentions followed by the courage together with the actions & hard work that change occurs.

You can’t “find” great leaders

I was scrolling through Instagram last week & game across this quote which was from Craig Groeschel & was reposted by Julia A’Bell. It immediately spoke to me & I loved it!

Today, I was looking at something else & it popped up again & this time, I could not help but to go looking for the source of it. I have not listened to the podcast from which this quote comes from but the words resounded in my spirit as the revelation of how many people in leadership positions miss this profound concept & “look for” or “try to find” the great leaders to be invited into their team!

The following thoughts flowed:

The core that each leader needs to bring is basically just calling & anyone who has influence, who have people following them, which is basically everyone, is a leader. That is the basic.

What makes a good leader is the way that the person recognises that there is leadership upon them so they grow their passion & motivation; they know that they have followers, they have influence, they have the capacity to lead at the very least someone.

Great leadership is when they are built upon, when they are nurtured & they learn, when what they are gifted with is recognise & someone else who have been there come alongside them to help them unpack that gift & teach, guide, direct, mentor, support & encourage them. It is them growing & building in a great environment. A great leader keeps growing & expanding.

A great leader can be taken out of an environment that they have grown abundantly & be placed in another where there is no support or nurturing & that great leader goes back to being a good leader. They have only grown that far & then remains stagnant. A great leader is subjective to the environment, the people & the leadership in which they are within.

So, people in place of senior leadership, stop “looking for” great leaders, start recognising those that you have around you & start building them instead!

Woman; be who you are designed to be!

Today is International Women Day & I have this message within me that I had thought of not sharing but it is fighting to come out as words that needs to be heard.

As I scrolled through social media & the news & so many other things today, there are women fighting for equality, women fighting for a status, articles & awards celebrating the achievements of women, people celebrating their wives, mothers, daughters & girlfriends lifting each other up in support & messages that it is ok to be imperfect.

The niggling question that keeps bugging me as I read through this today is “who or what are we comparing ourselves with?”; as women, do we realised that we are created to be different from men?

Yes, some of society has deemed us to be the weaker gender but within our “weakness” is our strength. Yes, we should be recognised but there is so much that a woman endures & sacrifices that is not known nor can be comprehended. When we live by our design, we have the confidence to go forward & function as we are meant to.

As a woman, I find myself discovering new abilities of who I am & what I can do each day & in that discovery, my identity & my confidence grows.

Maybe instead of fighting for women” rights or competing with each other of who is better, let us be recognised for who we were designed to be…

• The wife who will out of our love for our husband be committed to partner & journey through ever aspect of life with him
• The daughter who will always look up to her parents & wish to please them with everything that she does
• The mother who will always carry & expand & stretch & endure however much required, physically, emotionally & mentally for her children
• The sister who will always stand up for those who she fights alongside
• A boss and/or leader who will always nuture & champion those following them
• A friend who will always cheer on, lift, support & encourage

Let us strive to discover our identity of who God has created us to be & be the best woman we can for ourselves & for those around us.

You can not lead by following

“You can not lead by following” – Sir Alex Ferguson

My husband would be very proud of me for even seeing let along using a quote by the man who was the manager & coach of his favourite football/soccer team, Manchester United.

I was scrolling along a few minutes ago & came upon this quote & it sparked a thought for me as to how true it is. As a leader, we need to play our role which is to lead. Each leader is also a follower of a bigger team or a bigger vision & that is fine but in the area which you are leading in, are you truly leading?

I acknowledge that there are different leadership roles & some people may have an aspect of leadership in their role & be called leaders but those I would categorise here as team members. This I believe applies for those who are actually leading, vision casting & has the ability to determine the outcome of a team/group. Here are my thoughts & hear me out….

There are some leaders who listen to their followers & what their followers want; that is not leading, that is demand & supply. In this circumstance, that leader would find that they may be keeping up with the supply & keeping their followers happy but there is no growth as the decision making process is going in circles.

Then there are leaders who lead by following the trends of what other leaders are doing; that too is not leading but copying. A leader is called to own their own role, lead, vision, and create the pathway which will work for their area of leadership. As every area/organisation/team/group is different, you can’t apply what works for one to the other & expect it to work the same way.

There are also leaders who lead by following everything a higher or another parallel leader says & applies it to their area of leadership; this too once again is not leading, but being a messenger & to be a channel of communication from a higher leader to others.

A leader has to grow, has to inspire not just themselves but their team, has to cast a vision that relates & that people can capture. A leader has to work hard & be committed, has to renew their mindset, accept change & adapt as circumstances hit. A leader has to see the bigger picture as well as the small, be willing to deal with the issues & problems even it means having that difficult chat to challenge the people who are not doing what is right or required, or even removing someone from a position in their team

How do you see your leadership?

What are you setting up for?

This last few weeks, we have been preparing our team for the year ahead. Together, we have done some leadership devotionals, we have met, we have socialised, we have bonded, we have team built (unintentionally sometimes but we have).

I am not saying that we have the perfect team but I know that as team leaders, my husband & I get to know our team so we know their strengths & weaknesses. In the strength & giftings, we launch them towards that area to see them succeed. In the areas of their weaknesses, we come alongside them to help them grow. Not to turn it into their strength because that is not necessarily what they are called or designed to do, but to assist them in growing in that area & support them so that they can challenge themselves & grow further.

As I look around, sometimes there are people who have been placed in wrong areas or wrong positions, a simple example is people who can’t sing are on stage singing or people who struggle with cooking being placed in a hospitality role to cook.

I then had a realisation that there are 2 things or 2 sides to consider – firstly from the viewpoint of the person itself & secondly, from the viewpoint of their leader.

From the person itself, there may be desires that they have in their heart to see or to do certain things. Those desires may be there for a reason but it may not be for this time. We grow into our calling & we grow into our giftings. If things were immediate, every little kid who walked around with a hairbrush singing would then be given a microphone to hold a concert. That child may eventually do so one day in the future but the time from now till then, is where the hard work & the growth goes into. This is where the leader’s role comes in.

As a leader, we are given discernment & wisdom. If you are a leader & you don’t think you have those, seek them. If you are a leader who has been in leadership for a long time, let me challenge you by asking “do you still use wisdom & discernment when you choose what position to place the people in your team in?”.

I know for me personally, in the past, I have sometimes allowed personal feelings or friendship or even guilt sway my choices, like that person is where they are because of a decision that I had made so since I have already made that mistake by putting them in that role, let me keep encouraging them & try to get people to cheer them on so they can get better – yes, if that is their area of gifting & no, if that isn’t! If you keep doing so & those people are not in their area of gifting or calling, you are firstly setting them up for failure & secondly, you are not being a good steward of the people within your team!

Sometimes as a leader, it is not just about the support but it also about the courage to acknowledge that a mistake was made in your decisions & removing that person from those positions & placing them into a role that they can actually grow! Otherwise, one day will come & they will be burnt in that position & they will also be burnt personally.

If as a leader, you want to know if the people in your teams are in the right positions, look at the reactions of people around. A leader has to sit back & assess every so often. Do so & you will see the true reaction of people around which would be an indication of whether your team is in the right or wrong spot. Do not be afraid to do so for this is a very important aspect of leadership, especially if you want to see growth in your team or your area.

So, what are you setting up for? Are you setting up for growth or are you choosing to set up for failure because of your stubbornness or fear as a leader to make the hard decisions?

Rediscovering art

I used to say to myself that I was so busy with work & everything else I had to do that I didn’t have time for my art. So for a very long period of time, my paintbrushes, my sketch pad & everything else was packed away in a box, somewhat forgotten. 
The weekend before last, I watched Nolan Holladay’s FB live video & was inspired by him to rediscover my creative side. I had a baby shower to go to on this weekend that just passed which was planned at a last minute & the gender of the baby was a surprise so rather than trying to think of what to get, I decided to make something artistic.. Not having much time after work due to other commitments, I completed the artwork during my lunch time. I loved the result & so did mum-to-be who received it & many others. 

So this week, I set myself a challenge. I am going to spend the remainder of my lunch time (after eating) creating art rather than just checking social media & reading up on things. I am going to make time for my art, rediscover it & unpack my art box! 

Thanks Nolan for the inspiration that sparked this new motivation!