You do not have an identity crisis

Have you ever caught yourself wondering who you are or find yourself questioning your identity?

The world tells us that we often have an identity crisis, everyone would have had one before & everyone have journeyed to find who they truly are!

Let me tell you a revelation I had dropped into my heart that caught me by surprise – God said to tell the world, in particular, tell the girls that they do not have an identity crisis! Their identity is found in Him because Genesis 1:27 said that we are made in His image!

We don’t realise this but we question our identity when someone or something questions us & who we are, our beliefs, our morals, our choices.

Each & every single one of us are uniquely created to reflect our Father, our King, our God! He reveals to us who He has called us to be. He holds us in the palm of His Hand & has good plans and future for us.

So if you ever find yourself questioning once again as to who you are, seek Him, remember that you are a child of God.

Change does not just happen because it is a new year

Just saying that it is a new year does not make things new 😅 we all wished it was that simple. I saw this post by Christine Caine & it helps put into words what had been on my mind for this new year & new decade.

There have been numerous things which we have accepted & allowed for the last year & decade which we know that change needs to occur but no action has been taken, this is the year to press stop & deal with it so that change can actually occur.

There are some things that are progressing like a bullet train towards a destination but have we paused to see what else is there around us that needs to be done or is everything going to just fly by like a blur & become missed opportunities?

Are there some things that need to be reset, rethought, refreshed, repaired, reanalysed, reassessed, reconsidered so that it functions better, that the foundations can be made stronger.. sometimes the base is set & is fine but the building that took place on top of it may have some weak points or some require some adjustment to ensure that it can support the further building on top of it, likewise, to pruning of a tree, to ensure that the growth happens in the right direction & the branch is strong enough to support it otherwise, the fruit eventually falls from the tree not due to ripeness but due to the weakness of the branch.

Lastly, the scariest one of all, is it time to press start… press start on those dreams that have been kept in the smallest & secret places, the ideas that we have pushed aside, the visions that God ha given us but we discounted not because of Him but of what we think our abilities are.. if not now, then when?

The ticking of the clock into a new hour/day/hour/week/month/year/decade does not mean that things will magically change. It is the intentions followed by the courage together with the actions & hard work that change occurs.

Woman; be who you are designed to be!

Today is International Women Day & I have this message within me that I had thought of not sharing but it is fighting to come out as words that needs to be heard.

As I scrolled through social media & the news & so many other things today, there are women fighting for equality, women fighting for a status, articles & awards celebrating the achievements of women, people celebrating their wives, mothers, daughters & girlfriends lifting each other up in support & messages that it is ok to be imperfect.

The niggling question that keeps bugging me as I read through this today is “who or what are we comparing ourselves with?”; as women, do we realised that we are created to be different from men?

Yes, some of society has deemed us to be the weaker gender but within our “weakness” is our strength. Yes, we should be recognised but there is so much that a woman endures & sacrifices that is not known nor can be comprehended. When we live by our design, we have the confidence to go forward & function as we are meant to.

As a woman, I find myself discovering new abilities of who I am & what I can do each day & in that discovery, my identity & my confidence grows.

Maybe instead of fighting for women” rights or competing with each other of who is better, let us be recognised for who we were designed to be…

• The wife who will out of our love for our husband be committed to partner & journey through ever aspect of life with him
• The daughter who will always look up to her parents & wish to please them with everything that she does
• The mother who will always carry & expand & stretch & endure however much required, physically, emotionally & mentally for her children
• The sister who will always stand up for those who she fights alongside
• A boss and/or leader who will always nuture & champion those following them
• A friend who will always cheer on, lift, support & encourage

Let us strive to discover our identity of who God has created us to be & be the best woman we can for ourselves & for those around us.

What are you setting up for?

This last few weeks, we have been preparing our team for the year ahead. Together, we have done some leadership devotionals, we have met, we have socialised, we have bonded, we have team built (unintentionally sometimes but we have).

I am not saying that we have the perfect team but I know that as team leaders, my husband & I get to know our team so we know their strengths & weaknesses. In the strength & giftings, we launch them towards that area to see them succeed. In the areas of their weaknesses, we come alongside them to help them grow. Not to turn it into their strength because that is not necessarily what they are called or designed to do, but to assist them in growing in that area & support them so that they can challenge themselves & grow further.

As I look around, sometimes there are people who have been placed in wrong areas or wrong positions, a simple example is people who can’t sing are on stage singing or people who struggle with cooking being placed in a hospitality role to cook.

I then had a realisation that there are 2 things or 2 sides to consider – firstly from the viewpoint of the person itself & secondly, from the viewpoint of their leader.

From the person itself, there may be desires that they have in their heart to see or to do certain things. Those desires may be there for a reason but it may not be for this time. We grow into our calling & we grow into our giftings. If things were immediate, every little kid who walked around with a hairbrush singing would then be given a microphone to hold a concert. That child may eventually do so one day in the future but the time from now till then, is where the hard work & the growth goes into. This is where the leader’s role comes in.

As a leader, we are given discernment & wisdom. If you are a leader & you don’t think you have those, seek them. If you are a leader who has been in leadership for a long time, let me challenge you by asking “do you still use wisdom & discernment when you choose what position to place the people in your team in?”.

I know for me personally, in the past, I have sometimes allowed personal feelings or friendship or even guilt sway my choices, like that person is where they are because of a decision that I had made so since I have already made that mistake by putting them in that role, let me keep encouraging them & try to get people to cheer them on so they can get better – yes, if that is their area of gifting & no, if that isn’t! If you keep doing so & those people are not in their area of gifting or calling, you are firstly setting them up for failure & secondly, you are not being a good steward of the people within your team!

Sometimes as a leader, it is not just about the support but it also about the courage to acknowledge that a mistake was made in your decisions & removing that person from those positions & placing them into a role that they can actually grow! Otherwise, one day will come & they will be burnt in that position & they will also be burnt personally.

If as a leader, you want to know if the people in your teams are in the right positions, look at the reactions of people around. A leader has to sit back & assess every so often. Do so & you will see the true reaction of people around which would be an indication of whether your team is in the right or wrong spot. Do not be afraid to do so for this is a very important aspect of leadership, especially if you want to see growth in your team or your area.

So, what are you setting up for? Are you setting up for growth or are you choosing to set up for failure because of your stubbornness or fear as a leader to make the hard decisions?

Pathway to peace & joy

Today, we went on an adventure to a waterfall with some friends. Throughout the day, I found so many lessons that we could take away from this trip.. but one of them that was really on my heart to share was the pathway to peace & joy.

To begin with, we made a decision last night to make this trip. The decision was easy as it was something at seem attractive for our live such as peace & joy can be. It was our desire to go visit this waterfall.

So with decision at hand, we kinda prepared for it but as the day started, we had a few hiccups & a few detours just as life would throw some unexpected issues before us leading us in circles or giving us other things to deal with first.

Then the long drive began which is a bit like life.. when we choose peace or joy, there is usually a process but life doesn’t stop just so you can focus on that nor does it happen by the click of your fingers.

Then we arrived.. but that was not the end destination yet.. but there was excitement.. we can start to feel it, but the true tough part of the journey has just begun.

There was a trek to get to this waterfall, not an easy one but in fact, one which was steep & uneven. One of the kids aptly named it the 3 obstacle courses to get there. Interestingly, after the first obstacle course, there was a lookout to the waterfall giving us a glimpse of our end goal. Life can be like that too where we get a glimpse of where we want to be… but there is still the rest of the journey.

On the second “obstacle course”, it was a steep climb down. There were doubts & there were anxieties. There were thoughts of are we even going to get there.. there were moments where we made it to a stable point & wanted to just stay there forever, BUT in this time, we had friends who supported us, encouraged us, helped us & gave out a helping hand.

Then came the last bit of the trek which was pretty rocky.. we were tired, but we could hear the waterfall calling. We knew that the end was near but we had to draw on the last bit of our strength to keep pushing on.

Then we got there!! We arrived.. there were still uncertainties when we got there as we made our way into the water but we had arrived.. we did what we needed to do to get in.. we were there! As I sat beneath the waterfall & had a quiet moment to myself, these concepts camp to me. It was a moment of true peace as every other sound & thought was drummed out by the sound of the water falling. It as a moment of joy that we had made it & we had achieved it & the memories we were making.

On our way back, we still had to go back through those 3 obstacle courses… but the journey was a bit different. The ground hadn’t changed, in fact, it was still steep & uneven.. but, our footing was more certain, we were more sure. One of our friends made it back up with one broken thong/flipflop! It reminded me of how it should be like it we ever had to re-walk a path that we have been through once but in a different manner. We weren’t anxious anymore, we had confidence. We got to appreciate the view & our surroundings & we got back quicker.

For me, today’s trip was momentous but also one filled with revelation.

Stepping stone vs launching pad – time

Time keeps moving but it is what we do with it that counts.

When I was looking forward to my end of year break, I had every intention to work through most of it & get myself up to speed on my work, however, when I actually took that break, it was a bit different.

As I mentioned previously, I was already pondering on the concept of being a stepping stone or a launching pad (see previous post) & heading into the holiday season & intending to work through it, I made the public holidays my stepping stones.

Then, on the first few days of my holidays, I was talking to a friend who was going through a bit of a tough time & taking a break & another revelation hit me… holidays are not just the stepping stone from one year to another – no absolutely not! They can also be a launching pad…

To use my holidays as a launching pad, I had to be intentional. Intentionally resting & recovering from the stresses of last year ‘ of now. Working of dropping the baggage for a bit & allowing some healing, physically, emotionally, mentally & spiritually. I know that the months ahead will be busy, jammed pack & filled with many things work wise & in order for me to be able to have a fresh outlook (which I will need), I needed to intentionally have a holiday. So I did…. there were some days which I had to go in to work (only 2 so far) but on the other days, I stopped. I rested. I went out. I slept. I pampered myself. I self-cared. I spent time with family & friends. At first it was hard for me to do as I felt guilty & lazy but now on the second last day of my holidays, I know that my clients don’t just want things done on time, they want a lawyer who can think, function, advise & act clearly, holistically & wisely & I needed to put myself first so that I can be the best for them in the service I provide.

I learnt this holidays how important a time of rest was. I also discovered the reason why athletes & people who exercise at the gym regularly or have particular diets have rest days, because those rest days allows the body to stop, reset, recover & push further & harder to achieve their goal.

“Wait, this is his/her battle”

Ever felt like you are left to fend for yourself in the face of evil? When circumstances are so daunting & you have drawn your sword ready for battle but you don’t know if you can or can’t do so. There is a risk of wining or losing, of walking away hurt or harmed.

I was watching the Chronicles of Narnia tonight & it was the scene where Peter was battling the wolves. Everyone else, Azlan included cake running up to aid him but Azlan said to the rest of the army “Stop, wait, this is Peter’s battle”.

I realised then that as Azlan is a portrayal of God, God too does that sometimes; not because He wants to see us hurt but He knows that our confidence & strength is renewed in His presence & also of the backing of an army who are there to lift & battle when we falter.

The victory of the battle too makes us stronger, builds our confidence & allows us to discover our identity – just as when Peter succeeded, he was knighted & his name was changed. His identity confirmed & concreted to be a foundation upon which his next battle can be built upon.

International Women’s Day 2018

A woman’s worth is a core of her identity & is one aspect that is challenged at various times or at some point of time in her lifetime.

I am thankful that when my worth is challenged, I am surrounded by people including amazing women who remind me that I am precious, that I am valued, I am loved, I am capable!

I hope that I too have become a woman who brings & shares this message to other women & girls around me!

Today is International Women’s Day…. lift up, encourage, inspire & speak words of life, worth & value to the girls in your life & those who come across your path!

Feminine war paint

The last few weeks (heck, the last few months) have had its challenges. Personally, I have dealt with them in a variety of ways, stressing, worrying, praying, self pitying, venting, boost of confidence, retail therapy, denial, escape zone.. I know that at the end of the day that God has it all in control.. But there is also the human type A personality part of me too. Then there is also the fighter, strong female personality, or as my husband calls, the lawyer side of me that tells me to pick myself up, God is on my side & push forward!

Today was one of those frustrating days spanning from a variety of issues. I had some “me time” to escape (but with the ‘convenience’ of technology, a full escape is not always available which adds on to the frustration), I had my “I am frustrated & pissed off at a person so I am making it known to all” moment, then, I decided to paint my nails the colour of what I am currently naming “pissed off red & a touch of confidence sparkle” while watching chick flicks!

At some point of time while painting my nails, I realised that guys laugh at us when we do this or say that we need our beauty products to give us a boost, but sometimes in reality, it does help push us along. Now all who know me knows that I am not one who is big for make up or beauty products. Most days, I either don’t wear make up or only have the basics on & it does not affect my confidence or who I am in any way whatsoever.

But painting my nails tonight in a bold colour (one that I am not used to as I usually go for neutral or subtle colours) mixed with sparkles (not my usual again but shimmer & sparkles are sometimes needed in life), I realised that in difficult situations, we all get to a point where we have had enough of being the nice guy, & stop to have a confidence boost (whatever manner or form it takes, for me tonight it was painting my nails) & then push forward. The nail colours tonight was my feminine war paint… To prepare me for the war.

I love this part of being a girl, a woman, a realisation that a female has a strong side too & it doesn’t matter what we need to do to get that strength girded… Strength is not just in a form as most people see strength to be & therefore the preparation to rise up & use that strength differs as well. Don’t ever let anyone think or say to you that because you are female, you are the weaker gender.