RU OK? The unspoken answer…

Today is “RU Ok? Day”. Whist I understand & agree with the intention of the day where it brings to the forefront the importance of checking in on one another, starting the conversation & also creating opportunities to support & encourage one another, I don’t think it should be an occurrence that happens once a year. In fact, I make it an active intention to ask this question to those around me & those I meet regularly.

On the flip side, this question is also easily answered most times. “Yes, I am ok”, “all good”, “going well/great/awesome” are some of the common responses who usually then brings an end to the conversation.

But let’s take a moment to stop & truly consider ourselves before responding to that question… “Are you/we REALLY ok?” in all areas & aspects of our lives? Is there anything that we are struggling with or bothering us? Are we really that happy & contented at all things?

I am not saying that we have to spill our guts out or share our inner most struggles with everyone who ask us that question… Opportunities may come up that we are prompted to share with a person who do ask that question & that is great…

What I discovered this year though is that on RU OK? Day, let us not just ask one another that question but let us also ask ourselves that question. Let us inspect all areas of our life to determine if we are indeed really ok.. let us answer for ourselves the true answer to that question.

Drip

Drip, drip, drip….

It has been raining pretty much non stop for the last 48 hours or so & there is a leak in my office where my window connection is. As there is more rain to come & it can’t be fixed until the rain stops, all we can do it to place a towel & bucket. But in the last day & half, it has taught me how a drip can affect my life!

A drip is not much. It is after all only just a single drip. But the noise that single drop makes, it can be heard. It grabs your attention & focus. It causes you to notice it.

A drop of water will still cause something to be wet – bucket, towel, carpet, even you. It has the power to change something.

Consistency of drips will actually cause a bigger impact, a bucket to fill up, a towel or carpet to drench.

This actually got me thinking… sometimes, there are things in life, decisions made, words said that may not be huge or for its impact to be immediate but like a constant drip, it is significant. It still changes, it has it’s value & purpose & its effect. Consistently going, its significance grows.

So if what you are doing may seem like a drop at the moment, don’t give up, don’t give in.. it already made a change.. to make a bigger change, make the drop into a consistent drip! A drip that eventually cannot be ignored!

Old ways, new doors

It is a new year & a new decade but are we stuck in our old ways of doing things? Old habits, old expectations, old manners, old approaches.. don’t get me wrong, there are some things of old which are of value, in fact, great value – those are the things that have stood the test of time, that worked & that are the foundation of things! There is value & worth in the priceless traditions, the basic morals of life which are timeless like politeness, kindness, generosity, love, care, respect. Those are the things of old that are set in stone that should not be departed from & should be passed & taught from one generation to another.

But then, there are still the other things, with a new generation of technology, kids & ideas, as the world change around us, should we not change too to adapt where there is a need to do so? When something isn’t working anymore because it has gone past it’s time or relevance, those are the things that need refreshing. Sometimes, it is not just the physical things but also the mindsets, being teachable, being open, looking outside the box so that things, businesses, ministries, relationships can be brought to a whole new level!

Change does not just happen because it is a new year

Just saying that it is a new year does not make things new 😅 we all wished it was that simple. I saw this post by Christine Caine & it helps put into words what had been on my mind for this new year & new decade.

There have been numerous things which we have accepted & allowed for the last year & decade which we know that change needs to occur but no action has been taken, this is the year to press stop & deal with it so that change can actually occur.

There are some things that are progressing like a bullet train towards a destination but have we paused to see what else is there around us that needs to be done or is everything going to just fly by like a blur & become missed opportunities?

Are there some things that need to be reset, rethought, refreshed, repaired, reanalysed, reassessed, reconsidered so that it functions better, that the foundations can be made stronger.. sometimes the base is set & is fine but the building that took place on top of it may have some weak points or some require some adjustment to ensure that it can support the further building on top of it, likewise, to pruning of a tree, to ensure that the growth happens in the right direction & the branch is strong enough to support it otherwise, the fruit eventually falls from the tree not due to ripeness but due to the weakness of the branch.

Lastly, the scariest one of all, is it time to press start… press start on those dreams that have been kept in the smallest & secret places, the ideas that we have pushed aside, the visions that God ha given us but we discounted not because of Him but of what we think our abilities are.. if not now, then when?

The ticking of the clock into a new hour/day/hour/week/month/year/decade does not mean that things will magically change. It is the intentions followed by the courage together with the actions & hard work that change occurs.

Pathway to peace & joy

Today, we went on an adventure to a waterfall with some friends. Throughout the day, I found so many lessons that we could take away from this trip.. but one of them that was really on my heart to share was the pathway to peace & joy.

To begin with, we made a decision last night to make this trip. The decision was easy as it was something at seem attractive for our live such as peace & joy can be. It was our desire to go visit this waterfall.

So with decision at hand, we kinda prepared for it but as the day started, we had a few hiccups & a few detours just as life would throw some unexpected issues before us leading us in circles or giving us other things to deal with first.

Then the long drive began which is a bit like life.. when we choose peace or joy, there is usually a process but life doesn’t stop just so you can focus on that nor does it happen by the click of your fingers.

Then we arrived.. but that was not the end destination yet.. but there was excitement.. we can start to feel it, but the true tough part of the journey has just begun.

There was a trek to get to this waterfall, not an easy one but in fact, one which was steep & uneven. One of the kids aptly named it the 3 obstacle courses to get there. Interestingly, after the first obstacle course, there was a lookout to the waterfall giving us a glimpse of our end goal. Life can be like that too where we get a glimpse of where we want to be… but there is still the rest of the journey.

On the second “obstacle course”, it was a steep climb down. There were doubts & there were anxieties. There were thoughts of are we even going to get there.. there were moments where we made it to a stable point & wanted to just stay there forever, BUT in this time, we had friends who supported us, encouraged us, helped us & gave out a helping hand.

Then came the last bit of the trek which was pretty rocky.. we were tired, but we could hear the waterfall calling. We knew that the end was near but we had to draw on the last bit of our strength to keep pushing on.

Then we got there!! We arrived.. there were still uncertainties when we got there as we made our way into the water but we had arrived.. we did what we needed to do to get in.. we were there! As I sat beneath the waterfall & had a quiet moment to myself, these concepts camp to me. It was a moment of true peace as every other sound & thought was drummed out by the sound of the water falling. It as a moment of joy that we had made it & we had achieved it & the memories we were making.

On our way back, we still had to go back through those 3 obstacle courses… but the journey was a bit different. The ground hadn’t changed, in fact, it was still steep & uneven.. but, our footing was more certain, we were more sure. One of our friends made it back up with one broken thong/flipflop! It reminded me of how it should be like it we ever had to re-walk a path that we have been through once but in a different manner. We weren’t anxious anymore, we had confidence. We got to appreciate the view & our surroundings & we got back quicker.

For me, today’s trip was momentous but also one filled with revelation.

Stepping stone vs launching pad – time

Time keeps moving but it is what we do with it that counts.

When I was looking forward to my end of year break, I had every intention to work through most of it & get myself up to speed on my work, however, when I actually took that break, it was a bit different.

As I mentioned previously, I was already pondering on the concept of being a stepping stone or a launching pad (see previous post) & heading into the holiday season & intending to work through it, I made the public holidays my stepping stones.

Then, on the first few days of my holidays, I was talking to a friend who was going through a bit of a tough time & taking a break & another revelation hit me… holidays are not just the stepping stone from one year to another – no absolutely not! They can also be a launching pad…

To use my holidays as a launching pad, I had to be intentional. Intentionally resting & recovering from the stresses of last year ‘ of now. Working of dropping the baggage for a bit & allowing some healing, physically, emotionally, mentally & spiritually. I know that the months ahead will be busy, jammed pack & filled with many things work wise & in order for me to be able to have a fresh outlook (which I will need), I needed to intentionally have a holiday. So I did…. there were some days which I had to go in to work (only 2 so far) but on the other days, I stopped. I rested. I went out. I slept. I pampered myself. I self-cared. I spent time with family & friends. At first it was hard for me to do as I felt guilty & lazy but now on the second last day of my holidays, I know that my clients don’t just want things done on time, they want a lawyer who can think, function, advise & act clearly, holistically & wisely & I needed to put myself first so that I can be the best for them in the service I provide.

I learnt this holidays how important a time of rest was. I also discovered the reason why athletes & people who exercise at the gym regularly or have particular diets have rest days, because those rest days allows the body to stop, reset, recover & push further & harder to achieve their goal.

Stepping stone vs Launching pad

I was pondering about this a little while ago & it has been playing in my mind for quite a while now. There are many things in life where it can been deemed to be either but it is actually up to us how we view it to be & then treat it to be.

In general, with ourselves, are we a stepping stone or a launching pad? I don’t mean that we allow people to step on us but are we just a person who someone knows that connects people with others (& there is nothing wrong with that) or are we a launching pad where we launch people forward into their next step, next season, next phase with support & encouragement?

Now, don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong or lesser about being a stepping stone.. sometimes in some relationships, that is all we are called to be.. & there is importance in that too because we are the connecting point. Without that connection, someone would not be stepping forward to the next connection.

The important part though is to recognise which one we are for each friendship & relationship we have. Once we recognise that, we would find that our relationships are more purposeful because we can play our role in that relationship better.

If we are a stepping stone, we are that place of a break for that person where they can find rest & also a gateway of connection, to other people or other opportunities.

If we are a launching pad, we are that base of support, encouragement, motivation, trust & belief to launch them into what is next & what is to come.

For some, we may be both where for a season in their lives, we are the stepping stone & on certain stages, we are launching pads. Once again, when we recognise that, it is when we can fulfil our roles.

Truthful actions

I am a firm believer of this verse & this is how I live my life.. words can be powerful in a declaration but in my day job, I often see that words too can be a tool of persuasion which can sometimes be twisted to benefit the speaker. Action on the other hand speaks louder than words.. as we approach EASTER this weekend, we may wish people Happy Easter, celebrate the occasion, even acknowledge that Christ died for our sin.. but have our actions shown that? Have we loved people around us? Have we stood for what is right, made wise decisions, be accountable? Are we knows through our actions that we are a follower of Christ redeemed by His Sacrifice on the cross? Do our actions match & compliment our words when we spread the good news? 

People Vs Position – why do we do what we do?

Have you ever questioned yourself in each thing that you do as to why you are doing it? Especially when you are in a role or position in a ministry setting? Is your motivation & intention for the people who is at the receiving end or for you & the position that you are in? 

I found myself asking this question today because ironically, I see (some) church(es) becoming more like the corporate or commercial set up where people do things for their own elevation rather than for the benefit or good of others. Rather then climbing the corporate ladder, hey are climbing the “ministry leadership ladder”. We live in the world but not of the world yet the line is sometimes blurred & the teachings of the world crosses over – not just for young leaders but also for senior leaders who have been at it for a long time.

As some of you know, I attend a church in which I have been serving for many years in different capacities. In each capacity which includes leadership positions, I place the people who I am serving first & I am not talking about the leaders above me but the people who I am leading in that area & the team who assist me. For example, I am now serving in Kids ministry & oversee a community kids program, my priority & I do what I do, not for my benefit but for the benefits of those kids in that group. When I talk to them, I am sincere in my time & conversation with them & I place them at a place of importance. They are my purpose of being there. I don’t do what I do due to the obligation of being in that position. 

One of the questions which I would ask too is that “would you do what you do if the (leadership) position wasn’t a part of it?”. Relevant to my situation, “Would I be spending time and be genuinely interested in those kids if I wasn’t a leader?”. My answer is yes! I don’t say so to brag but to check myself to know that I do what I do for the right reasons & to be certain that my priorities are right. 

Sadly, not many people in similar positions will ask that brutally honest question. Sadly too, we live in a world where people do what they do because they are obliged to do it & this is not just in the corporate or commercial world. Sometimes, after being in a role / position for a long time or maybe the excitement of finally becoming a leader & “leveling up” could blur the true reason of why we are there & why we do what we do. 

I consider this as an intentional heart check for everyone who is in ministry. It is a filter for leadership which needs to be re-applied in today’s churches. I have started with myself & applied it to me.