RU OK? The unspoken answer…

Today is “RU Ok? Day”. Whist I understand & agree with the intention of the day where it brings to the forefront the importance of checking in on one another, starting the conversation & also creating opportunities to support & encourage one another, I don’t think it should be an occurrence that happens once a year. In fact, I make it an active intention to ask this question to those around me & those I meet regularly.

On the flip side, this question is also easily answered most times. “Yes, I am ok”, “all good”, “going well/great/awesome” are some of the common responses who usually then brings an end to the conversation.

But let’s take a moment to stop & truly consider ourselves before responding to that question… “Are you/we REALLY ok?” in all areas & aspects of our lives? Is there anything that we are struggling with or bothering us? Are we really that happy & contented at all things?

I am not saying that we have to spill our guts out or share our inner most struggles with everyone who ask us that question… Opportunities may come up that we are prompted to share with a person who do ask that question & that is great…

What I discovered this year though is that on RU OK? Day, let us not just ask one another that question but let us also ask ourselves that question. Let us inspect all areas of our life to determine if we are indeed really ok.. let us answer for ourselves the true answer to that question.

You do not have an identity crisis

Have you ever caught yourself wondering who you are or find yourself questioning your identity?

The world tells us that we often have an identity crisis, everyone would have had one before & everyone have journeyed to find who they truly are!

Let me tell you a revelation I had dropped into my heart that caught me by surprise – God said to tell the world, in particular, tell the girls that they do not have an identity crisis! Their identity is found in Him because Genesis 1:27 said that we are made in His image!

We don’t realise this but we question our identity when someone or something questions us & who we are, our beliefs, our morals, our choices.

Each & every single one of us are uniquely created to reflect our Father, our King, our God! He reveals to us who He has called us to be. He holds us in the palm of His Hand & has good plans and future for us.

So if you ever find yourself questioning once again as to who you are, seek Him, remember that you are a child of God.

A simple gift

Half of a leaf

We were at a party yesterday afternoon & one of the teenage girls who I have known from her birth came up to me & gave me half of a leaf, the same leaf as the one in the photo. She said to me that I have to keep it as it is a gift from her & I without hesitation slotted it in my phone case which is clear.

Today, I sat here looking at it & something dropped into my heart.

This little leaf was the only thing she had on her at that very point in time to share with me.. this is like a gift that may be the only thing we have available at a specific moment to give God or to give to a person we love or cherish or respect or honour. It may not look like something of value & definitely does not have monetary value. It is drying out in parts & brown & there is little to almost no life in it, but no matter the look of the gift, it is the heart behind it that truly matters.

Then I thought of the heart of the young girl giving it to me.. she did so just because at that moment, she wanted to give me something, it’s that simple. She may not have thought any further about it or had any other intentions behind it, I am not sure. Maybe she was trying to determine if I would keep it to toss it away amongst the other leaves on the ground.

Then I stopped & thought back about my heart when I received it. I joyfully & gladly took it, said thanks, promised her to keep it & proceeded to do so. I did that not because there was a physical or monetary value to it, but I valued that gift & any gift for that matter because SHE was valuable to me, because our relationship had value, because she was someone who I had watched grow up, invested into, encouraged, supported, cheered on & loved.

I felt like I captured a glimpse of what God’s heart is like when we give Him what we have at a moment we feel like giving, whether it is praise, a moment, a word, money, time, prayer, or anything at all.. It has today reminded me not to overthink when giving God what I have in my hand & my heart because to me, it may look silly but give it with a child-like spirit, with joy knowing that it is not about the item or the gift but the heart.

Is your garden suitable for seeds to grow?

I was reading this verse the other day & God dropped a question into my heart which totally changed my view of this verse – is your garden/ground suitable for seeds to grow?

But He didn’t stop there – Most people, me included have always looked at it in the sense of a person’s heart as to whether the heart was rocky, gravelly, full of weeds or fertile ground, but have you ever thought of the garden/ground as your ministry, your family, your workplace, your relationships, whichever ground you have control over?

Seed are people, young and old, that can be scattered at any time but if your garden/ground is not fertile to accept them, those relationships will either die, live a short life of be strangled.

As leaders, we have a responsibility to nurture the ground we have been given control of.. it made me think that as a kids leader running a program, is our ministry fertile ground where the kids can grow?

As a boss/manager at work, is our workplace a fertile ground where employees can flourish?

As a person, can my relationships blossom for the better like a flower?

Definitely food for thought & a very much different view that is indeed eye-opening & heart-convicting.

Drip

Drip, drip, drip….

It has been raining pretty much non stop for the last 48 hours or so & there is a leak in my office where my window connection is. As there is more rain to come & it can’t be fixed until the rain stops, all we can do it to place a towel & bucket. But in the last day & half, it has taught me how a drip can affect my life!

A drip is not much. It is after all only just a single drip. But the noise that single drop makes, it can be heard. It grabs your attention & focus. It causes you to notice it.

A drop of water will still cause something to be wet – bucket, towel, carpet, even you. It has the power to change something.

Consistency of drips will actually cause a bigger impact, a bucket to fill up, a towel or carpet to drench.

This actually got me thinking… sometimes, there are things in life, decisions made, words said that may not be huge or for its impact to be immediate but like a constant drip, it is significant. It still changes, it has it’s value & purpose & its effect. Consistently going, its significance grows.

So if what you are doing may seem like a drop at the moment, don’t give up, don’t give in.. it already made a change.. to make a bigger change, make the drop into a consistent drip! A drip that eventually cannot be ignored!

Old ways, new doors

It is a new year & a new decade but are we stuck in our old ways of doing things? Old habits, old expectations, old manners, old approaches.. don’t get me wrong, there are some things of old which are of value, in fact, great value – those are the things that have stood the test of time, that worked & that are the foundation of things! There is value & worth in the priceless traditions, the basic morals of life which are timeless like politeness, kindness, generosity, love, care, respect. Those are the things of old that are set in stone that should not be departed from & should be passed & taught from one generation to another.

But then, there are still the other things, with a new generation of technology, kids & ideas, as the world change around us, should we not change too to adapt where there is a need to do so? When something isn’t working anymore because it has gone past it’s time or relevance, those are the things that need refreshing. Sometimes, it is not just the physical things but also the mindsets, being teachable, being open, looking outside the box so that things, businesses, ministries, relationships can be brought to a whole new level!

Change does not just happen because it is a new year

Just saying that it is a new year does not make things new 😅 we all wished it was that simple. I saw this post by Christine Caine & it helps put into words what had been on my mind for this new year & new decade.

There have been numerous things which we have accepted & allowed for the last year & decade which we know that change needs to occur but no action has been taken, this is the year to press stop & deal with it so that change can actually occur.

There are some things that are progressing like a bullet train towards a destination but have we paused to see what else is there around us that needs to be done or is everything going to just fly by like a blur & become missed opportunities?

Are there some things that need to be reset, rethought, refreshed, repaired, reanalysed, reassessed, reconsidered so that it functions better, that the foundations can be made stronger.. sometimes the base is set & is fine but the building that took place on top of it may have some weak points or some require some adjustment to ensure that it can support the further building on top of it, likewise, to pruning of a tree, to ensure that the growth happens in the right direction & the branch is strong enough to support it otherwise, the fruit eventually falls from the tree not due to ripeness but due to the weakness of the branch.

Lastly, the scariest one of all, is it time to press start… press start on those dreams that have been kept in the smallest & secret places, the ideas that we have pushed aside, the visions that God ha given us but we discounted not because of Him but of what we think our abilities are.. if not now, then when?

The ticking of the clock into a new hour/day/hour/week/month/year/decade does not mean that things will magically change. It is the intentions followed by the courage together with the actions & hard work that change occurs.

You can’t “find” great leaders

I was scrolling through Instagram last week & game across this quote which was from Craig Groeschel & was reposted by Julia A’Bell. It immediately spoke to me & I loved it!

Today, I was looking at something else & it popped up again & this time, I could not help but to go looking for the source of it. I have not listened to the podcast from which this quote comes from but the words resounded in my spirit as the revelation of how many people in leadership positions miss this profound concept & “look for” or “try to find” the great leaders to be invited into their team!

The following thoughts flowed:

The core that each leader needs to bring is basically just calling & anyone who has influence, who have people following them, which is basically everyone, is a leader. That is the basic.

What makes a good leader is the way that the person recognises that there is leadership upon them so they grow their passion & motivation; they know that they have followers, they have influence, they have the capacity to lead at the very least someone.

Great leadership is when they are built upon, when they are nurtured & they learn, when what they are gifted with is recognise & someone else who have been there come alongside them to help them unpack that gift & teach, guide, direct, mentor, support & encourage them. It is them growing & building in a great environment. A great leader keeps growing & expanding.

A great leader can be taken out of an environment that they have grown abundantly & be placed in another where there is no support or nurturing & that great leader goes back to being a good leader. They have only grown that far & then remains stagnant. A great leader is subjective to the environment, the people & the leadership in which they are within.

So, people in place of senior leadership, stop “looking for” great leaders, start recognising those that you have around you & start building them instead!

Woman; be who you are designed to be!

Today is International Women Day & I have this message within me that I had thought of not sharing but it is fighting to come out as words that needs to be heard.

As I scrolled through social media & the news & so many other things today, there are women fighting for equality, women fighting for a status, articles & awards celebrating the achievements of women, people celebrating their wives, mothers, daughters & girlfriends lifting each other up in support & messages that it is ok to be imperfect.

The niggling question that keeps bugging me as I read through this today is “who or what are we comparing ourselves with?”; as women, do we realised that we are created to be different from men?

Yes, some of society has deemed us to be the weaker gender but within our “weakness” is our strength. Yes, we should be recognised but there is so much that a woman endures & sacrifices that is not known nor can be comprehended. When we live by our design, we have the confidence to go forward & function as we are meant to.

As a woman, I find myself discovering new abilities of who I am & what I can do each day & in that discovery, my identity & my confidence grows.

Maybe instead of fighting for women” rights or competing with each other of who is better, let us be recognised for who we were designed to be…

• The wife who will out of our love for our husband be committed to partner & journey through ever aspect of life with him
• The daughter who will always look up to her parents & wish to please them with everything that she does
• The mother who will always carry & expand & stretch & endure however much required, physically, emotionally & mentally for her children
• The sister who will always stand up for those who she fights alongside
• A boss and/or leader who will always nuture & champion those following them
• A friend who will always cheer on, lift, support & encourage

Let us strive to discover our identity of who God has created us to be & be the best woman we can for ourselves & for those around us.

You can not lead by following

“You can not lead by following” – Sir Alex Ferguson

My husband would be very proud of me for even seeing let along using a quote by the man who was the manager & coach of his favourite football/soccer team, Manchester United.

I was scrolling along a few minutes ago & came upon this quote & it sparked a thought for me as to how true it is. As a leader, we need to play our role which is to lead. Each leader is also a follower of a bigger team or a bigger vision & that is fine but in the area which you are leading in, are you truly leading?

I acknowledge that there are different leadership roles & some people may have an aspect of leadership in their role & be called leaders but those I would categorise here as team members. This I believe applies for those who are actually leading, vision casting & has the ability to determine the outcome of a team/group. Here are my thoughts & hear me out….

There are some leaders who listen to their followers & what their followers want; that is not leading, that is demand & supply. In this circumstance, that leader would find that they may be keeping up with the supply & keeping their followers happy but there is no growth as the decision making process is going in circles.

Then there are leaders who lead by following the trends of what other leaders are doing; that too is not leading but copying. A leader is called to own their own role, lead, vision, and create the pathway which will work for their area of leadership. As every area/organisation/team/group is different, you can’t apply what works for one to the other & expect it to work the same way.

There are also leaders who lead by following everything a higher or another parallel leader says & applies it to their area of leadership; this too once again is not leading, but being a messenger & to be a channel of communication from a higher leader to others.

A leader has to grow, has to inspire not just themselves but their team, has to cast a vision that relates & that people can capture. A leader has to work hard & be committed, has to renew their mindset, accept change & adapt as circumstances hit. A leader has to see the bigger picture as well as the small, be willing to deal with the issues & problems even it means having that difficult chat to challenge the people who are not doing what is right or required, or even removing someone from a position in their team

How do you see your leadership?